Sunday, March 15, 2015

Paths of Friendship

The term "friend" can be used in a variety of ways.  In some cases it reflects a relationship which has carried from childhood and through the years.  Such is the case with many of my dearest friends.  Even when we haven't seen each other in months, or even years, the connection is sweet and we can pick up right where we left off.

Family connections also grow into friendships, with some being extra special because of a lifetime of experiences shared.  Sometimes we are blessed to live in the same community as these special people, and other times the trip down friendship road requires many miles of travel time.     

On FaceBook, a "friend" is someone who has gained access to your personal information by way of a request.  This person could be a long time friend, an acquaintance from your hometown, or even someone you have never met in person who has found a connection to your profile.  It isn't the same as face-to-face friendship, but serves a purpose in this whirlwind world we live in.

An extra special kind of friendship is one which God brings into your life for a season of time.  Such was the case with my dear friend, Louise.  Although I had always known who she was, I really didn't know her in a personal way.  She was the hard working lady who always wore an "Aunt Jemima" style head scarf.  Little did I know how much she would impact my life over the short two year span bridged between my retirement and her death.

It began with her friendly wave as I walked past her Main Street apartment.  Since the building had previously been an attorney's office, it still had the full length glass door in front.  From the vantage point of her cozy recliner, she was able to watch the comings and goings of people passing by, and loved when people stopped to visit.  How thankful I am for the first time I did. . .and each subsequent visit thereafter!

Over the course of our friendship I learned many things about her life.  She grew up on a farm and learned the value of hard work from her parents.  While her sister stayed mostly in the house helping their mother, it was she who helped her dad with the chores.  She walked to school, or in the winter got to ride curled up in blankets in the horse drawn sleigh.  The country church in their neighborhood had closed many years ago, yet it was important to have all of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren baptized in the font which had originally been donated by her family.

As she grew up, work needs led her to help with neighboring families and then on to work in the cafe in a nearby town.  Eventually she moved on to new opportunities in the "bigger community" nearby, which was our own hometown of Crosby, ND.  Her work began at the "Palace of Sweets" and then moved across the street to the "Crystal Cafe".  Eventually she married and had four children, first two boys, then a daughter and lastly another son.  While managing her own home, she continued to help out wherever needed, moving from cafe work to bar tending to school lunchroom, and eventually on to our local nursing home as a meal assistant.  When rules changed requiring a CNA certification to do the work, she went back to school and passed the test at the age of 80.

It became a pattern in my life to try stop in for a visit most days.  She was a wealth of knowledge and could remember the names of most people who had ever walked the streets of our community.  She knew who they married, who their kids were, plus, should they move away, would keep track of where they moved to and what they were doing.  She had a knack for remembering birthdays, even though she never wanted to reveal her own age.  Thankfully, we were able to surprise her last summer with a special gathering in honor of her 90th birthday.

Our visits included reminiscing about the past, discussing the here and now and often wondering about the future.  We agreed it would be beneficial to return to a simpler lifestyle and both longed for a more peaceful world.  Acknowledging it wasn't possible to change another person's heart, we agreed to do our best to spread sunshine instead of gloom, hoping our attitude might catch on.

With her admittance to the hospital in December and our move to Bismarck in January, our visits became less often, and looking back, it was as if God was preparing me for her departure from this life as we know it.  Our many visits assure me she is among those waiting to welcome me to heaven someday, and until then I will be eternally grateful for the time God allowed our paths to cross.












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